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Wanted: People to open their hearts, homes

This is a story of suffering, and compassion, and a desperate need for loving people to open their hearts and their homes to children.

Drug and alcohol abuse and familial violence are constant plagues of society, and no societal structure - from big cities to small rural towns in Kansas - are immune to it. Innocent people suffer because of the afflictions and actions of others. Children have always been part of the equation. Always.
Sometimes, for reasons that are often criminal, children must be removed from the homes they live in. The moment that decision is made a complex series of events are triggered. A child is taken from what is familiar, and placed into the unknown. It is an experience often filled with uncertainty and fear, but it can also be the beginning of a life the child never thought was possible.
Protective Homes can make that transition more comforting and tolerable. They are not shelters. They are not daycare facilities. They are your homes, and the homes of your friends and neighbors. They are your parents, your brothers and sisters, your co-workers. They are caring and compassionate people who are willing to open their homes for 72 hours and take care of children in crisis.
"When a child is placed in protective custody, it's often a frightening and traumatic experience," said Wanda Backstrom. She is the Director of Community Corrections-Juvenile Services for the 12th Judicial District, and has been the Court's Chief Services Officer since 1985.
Working with her on the front line of support for children in need is Jen Warkentin, the Juvenile Intake & Assessment Coordinator for the 12th Judicial District. Warkentin has worked with at-risk kids for over 20 years.
There are many reasons why minor children, from newborn babies to 17-year olds, are removed from a home. A car accident might injure both parents, or an arrest of a caregiver results in that person being incarcerated behind bars. Often times is it because of abuse and neglect. But too often, the reason is drugs in the home.
"Most people truly care about their children," said Concordia Police Chief Ric Fredrickson. "But drug addicts just don't make very good parents."
When a child is removed from a home, often in the middle of the night, it can be a tense situation for everyone involved.
"It's not easy dealing with parents when that happens," Fredrickson said. "They're upset, angry, combative. The kids are confused and scared. They may have suffered abuse or lived in horrible conditions, but it's the only life they know. This is how they grew up. They don't know that it's not okay to be hit every day. They don't know that they should bathe more than once a week. They don't know that life can be so much better."
When a child is removed from a home, he or she is placed in Police Protective Custody (PPC) for 72 hours while an intake and assessment of the child's needs is completed.
"We want to keep the child local for those three days if possible," Backstrom said. "For most of them, the situation is already traumatic. We don't want to also remove them from the only support systems they may have - their school and their friends - and send them to a different city to live with complete strangers."
Protective Homes fill the void. But there are not enough of them.
Currently, in Cloud County... there is only one.
Being a Protective Home means being there at all hours of the day and night. There is no pay. The reward is in showing a frightened child that there is love and support and the hope for a better life.
"Those first 72 hours can be crucial to a child's emotional ability to deal with the situation," Warkentin said. "To be able to put them in a home for three days where there is love and compassion, where they can bathe and eat healthy meals and sleep without fear is so important."
"The Protective Homes we have now are just fantastic people," Backstrom added. "These people are true humanitarians. One home is an elderly couple in their 70's; another is a couple in their 30's with children of their own."
The Blade spoke with a family that is a Protective Home. The courts and law enforcement keep the names of Protective Home owners confidential, but also allow a lot of latitude for the participants. Some are passionate about the issue and want to publicize it as much as possible.
This married couple became a Protective Home about a year ago, and have since taken in 10 children for those crucial 72 hours.
"We saw a need in the community," the wife said. "It just broke our hearts when we heard that there was no place for these kids to go."
"We've had everyone from a two-year old to a 17-year old," her husband added. "Some are in good shape, and some really need a lot of help."
"We took in two boys right at Easter," the wife recalled. "They'd never gone on an Easter egg hunt before. They'd never sat down to an Easter dinner."
Sometimes it can be challenging for the Protective Home. The call for assistance could come at three in the morning. A child might enter the home with nothing but the clothes on their back. There can be behavior issues, and almost always there is fear. These children are frightened by the sudden turn of events.
"We received training that was so helpful," the husband said. "But really, a lot of times, these kids just need to know that someone cares. Someone will listen to them."
There is no pay for being a Protective Home, so there is some cost involved. Care packages for children of all ages are provided by The Closet, a facility that donates clothes, food, personal hygiene products - even diapers and baby formula. Most of the items are donated by churches and school groups organized by students.
"In terms of cost, what's the price of emotional peace for these children?" the husband said. "You just put another plate on the table; you cook a little more food for three days. The change you see in these children is what's priceless. Some of them will walk into your home and you know they're just completely lost in life. There's really just no way to describe how it makes you feel to help them get a new start."
The couple's daughter was all for the idea of being a Protective Home.
"It's just so sad when they tell you their stories," she said. "You realize how lucky you are, and you just really want them to know that their life doesn't have to be so bad."
"That really is the hardest part of being a Protective Home," the wife said. "These kids are only with you for 72 hours, but you become friends. Some of them you really become attached to, and it's a little heartbreaking when they leave."
"We do it because we know we're helping make a difference in people's lives," her husband added. "It's a special feeling to know that we can help children right here in our own community."
To qualify as a Protective Home the responsible adult(s) must pass a background check and have no prior convictions, operate a safe home, and have enough room to care for a minor. All safety checks and approvals are made by the 12th Judicial Court Services. Protective Homes owners receive intensive training, but they are not licensed shelters or day care providers. There are no local, county or state funds available to assist with the costs.
Protective Homes can also choose the types of children and the age groups they will take in. Some prefer the babies; some will taken anyone in need. Sometimes, when the call comes, a Protective Home is not able to take in a child, and that's okay. The service is strictly voluntary, and not everyone is available or able to take a child all the time.
"We want prospective home applicants to be aware of what they might get," Warkentin said. "Some of these children are being removed from really horrible living conditions. You might get a child who has endured a lot of trauma and emotional and physical abuse. They may be ill, or have lice and other neglect illnesses."
"It takes a village, it really does," Backstrom said. "We really need an entire community to step forward and find a way to help children like this. It's hard to imagine how horrible the home life has been for some of these children, so it's important for them to know that there is help; there is hope for them. They can have a better life."
For those interested in having a Protective Home, two informational meetings will be held in the basement meeting room at the Cloud County Courthouse. There will be a meeting on Monday, October 15th, at 6 p.m, and a second meeting Wednesday October 24th, at 7 p.m.

EDITOR'S NOTE: FOR MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE MEETINGS OR PROTECTIVE HOMES, PLEASE CALL JEN WARKENTIN AT 785-243-8193, OR EMAIL HER AT warkentinj@12jd.org

 

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