"Running Commentary"

Growing Old – Never Up

Well, THAT was exciting!

Not that I’m complaining. It’s what I wanted, right?

When I heard we were about to be quarantined (YIKES!), I created an intoxicating cocktail. Here’s the formula I used: Two ounces of excitement, one heaping tablespoon of danger and three shots of liquid spice … Mix well with your beverage of choice, and shake everything together into your humdrum, dreary locked-down quarantine.

Where would one go to find those exciting ingredients?

Where else? KANSAS!

(Memo to Self: “Next time, be careful with the ingredients. You overdosed on danger.”)

I’ll get to all the excitement and danger; but first, a little background music, Maestro.

I’m not afraid of growing old. Heck, I gave up that battle a long time ago. After you hit 40 or 50, the years pile up quickly, one upon another, like dirty laundry in a basket. Growing old is inexorable. We can’t fight the four digit number indelibly written on our birth certificate.

Mine says 1-9-4-6. Roughly the same era that Ben Franklin was flying kites. I’m no name-dropper, so I won’t say I actually KNEW Ben; however, we did hang out at the same tavern.

Growing UP is quite a different matter than growing old.

Why would anyone want to grow up? Most grown-ups I know admit to being bored to death. It’s hard to believe grown-ups were once children, because children are anything but boring. Children are fascinating and remain so until polluted by too much contact with boring adults.

Children share a sense of awe and wonder about their environment. They are curious, ask questions and challenge assumptions. Small wonder children are sometimes shunted off to their bedrooms when adults congregate – they would interfere with the boredom. Unlike adults, children hunger to discover new things – they are natural explorers.

My formula to slow the aging process is quite simple – be more childlike. Take a few minutes each day; stir in a few ounces of imagination and mix well with a heartfelt desire to experience new discoveries. Uncommon and surprising adventures await you by simply varying your daily routines.

It doesn’t matter if you’re older than Ben Franklin. You only need a willingness to explore and try new things. To be spontaneous and mindful of the world around you.

If someone accused me of not growing up, I would take it as a huge compliment. And there is ample evidence for any such accusation.

Consider the subject of travel. For me, the trip is as important as the destination. Sometimes, it’s more important – and a lot more fun. Anytime I travel, I’m always open to spontaneity, willing to take a different road to explore something new and different.

My preferred modes of transportation are consistent with that philosophy. I’ve always preferred convertibles and motorcycles over anything more practical. Why? Because driving a sleek, speedy convertible with the top down is flat-out FUN!

Before moving to the Midwest, I made quite a few trips from Philadelphia to Kansas to visit my mother. Each time, I drove with the top down the whole way – straight through, 1400 miles and over 20 hours, stopping only for gas, food and potty breaks. Fresh open air at 3:00 a.m. is invigorating.

Meanwhile, when word came down about the lockdown, I promised Mother I would stay and keep her company. BUT … I needed “something else.” Something to shake up the daily routine of reading, writing and relaxing.

Know what I did? I went to Walmart.

A quick run for toilet paper? Heck no! I bought a tent.

Found a level spot in mother’s backyard, and voila! A NEW BEDROOM. I already had a down sleeping bag, but soon determined I needed something else – a comfy mattress.

THAT was trip No. 2 to Walmart.

Trip No. 3 to Walmart was for the electric pump I should have bought on Trip No. 2. (Silly me!) And, finally, trip No. 4 completed the package – a nice soft rug.

Everything was perfect … until that growling, mean-spirited night when there was a HUGE thunderstorm in North Central Kansas. Did I chicken out and head for the house? JEEEZO PETE! Pay attention – NO! That’s what an old boring adult would do.

I hunkered down for the excitement, and it came quickly at 12:30 a.m.

OMG. The driving rainstorm made a deafening racket on the tent. Lightening everywhere! Cracking thunderclaps caused me to wonder whether I had mixed up the formula – waaaaay too much danger mixed into my cocktail.It felt as though I was being blown to Oz.

Was I really scared? Naaah! And the really great news? My tent passed its first major test – it’s perfectly waterproof. I couldn’t sleep for two solid hours; but, that was OK … it’s not like I had to go to work in the morning.

Meanwhile, the child inside the old adult is already thinking about (ahem!) – enhancements. Let’s see … a small TV would be nice. And if you get a TV, you almost have to get a DVD to go with it. I hear Walmart has Keurig coffeemakers for sale. What fun!

Hey, listen up! If you’re bored with your dreary quarantine? Be more childlike. Shake up your daily routine. Be more spontaneous. Create your very own intoxicating cocktail.

Just go easy on the danger.

R Michael Owens, of Colorado, is living dangerously in Concordia these days. His mother tolerates his existence by giving him a loooong leash.