"Running Commentary"

Normally Not Normal

    9:30 pm. I retreat to my new bedroom for a night of peaceful repozzzzze.
Of course, my bedroom isn’t really a bedroom. I’m referring to a brilliant plan for surviving the quarantine – my new tent. Fully equipped with a comfy mattress and down sleeping bag.
    Someone in town called my mother to inquire whether I actually sleep outside in the tent, which was the subject of a recent article. “You betcha!”  Mother assured her I wasn’t blowing smoke.
    I love camping. My roomy tent is fully locked and loaded. It has a small flat-screen TV with a built in DVD to watch movies; a Stereo boombox to play CD’s; a soft rug; and, a bright light by which to read.
All the comforts of home. Almost. The tent I purchased did not come with bathroom facilities; however, I remind the gentle reader that I am indeed CAMPING, and when “nature calls” in the middle of the night? Well … the backyard is large and private.
Bears do it, don’t they?
As for the tent, it’s flat-out fun to do something different, especially during these trying times when most people are bored to death. Not me, Pal – I ain’t bored. And, I don’t think many people would say I’m boring. Jeez, I hope not.
Here’s something I realized a long time ago – I am “not normal.” Which is not to suggest I am abnormal, dumb, or dimwitted. Crazy maybe, but not stupid.
Perhaps I flatter myself, but I believe I am a person of high character, with an emphasis on the word CHARACTER. I don’t mind being not normal. Frankly, I rather enjoy it.
So what if my activities cause others to shake their heads in consternation and disbelief?  I’m 73 bleepin’ years old! I no longer work for a living. I’m a free, financially secure and independent humanoid. I’ve earned the right to do whatever I please.
I don’t mean to sound arrogant, but I paid my dues in the workday trenches. What’s so bad about being not normal, when you’re slip-sliding on the down slope of life’s bell curve? Nothing!
People worry too much about what others think.
10:30 pm. I finish a puzzle on the NY Times app on my phone and turn out the light for the aforesaid peaceful repose.  Zzzzzzzzzzz.
12:30 am.  It’s raining. Drip, drip, drip, drip. Funny how people who live in houses aren’t aware when it rains in the middle of night. In a tent? You hear EVERY droplet. It’s friggin’ NOISY! You listen to the rhythm of the rain and wonder when it’s going to let up.
Sometimes, rain bombarding my new bedroom is soothing. Not tonight. It’s keeping me awake, and I need my sleep.
1:20 am.  I give up and retreat into the house. It’s what a normal person would do, right?
1:45 am.  Can’t sleep, so I’m watching a crime show on TV, which I lovingly refer to as “Murder-porn.” There are channels on TV which reenact murders and show how forensic science led to the capture and conviction of the perpetrators. If your name pops up on these programs? You’re going to jail. (Memo to crime solvers: the husband is always guilty!)
2:30 am.  Obviously, I’m not going to fall back to sleep. What would a not normal person do in this circumstance? I think I have it – he would get out of bed and put on running clothes and his Nikes.
Kinda supports the theory, wouldn’t you agree?
2:40 am.  The fog is so thick, visibility is reduced to 25-30 yds. Can’t see houses across the street. It’s downright creepy wandering around town at this hour. But I know a place where I can go that is spooky, but “doable.” Where I can run without causing people to frantically dial 911 …
“POLICE? I’d like to report a weirdo outside, walking upright in Nikes.”
I’ll run on the high school track.
2:45 am. My legs feel surprisingly fresh, considering I’ve only had two hours sleep. It’s surprising in another way – I fasted yesterday. Another questionable activity I do once a week. I haven’t had solid food since two days ago. No sleep or fuel, but I feel great!
3:55 am.  I complete a difficult “speed workout” on the track – five miles in 65 minutes, alternating hard 100 meter sprints with short recovery jogs. I love, love, love working out on the track.
My body is dripping with sweat. My clothes are soaked and I am extraordinarily HAPPY. Honestly, this is great FUN. I feel all tingly inside – somewhat surprisingly, since my girlfriend is 500 miles away.
Would a normal person be feeling this wonderful and happy at this hour with an empty stomach, two hours’ sleep, and no caffeine to jump start the morning? Magic 8 Ball answers with another question: “Are you CRAZY?”
4:25 am.  I finish a one mile cool-down walk, along darkened streets. There’s no traffic to speak of out on the highway. I am alone in the great cosmos. The fog is thick and miserable, but I’m truly loving it. Who needs drugs? A natural “endorphin high” from running is so much better.
4:45 am.  I weigh myself. I’m down to 176 lbs. That means I’ve lost 44 lbs. since January 1st. Only 13 lbs. to go to reach my goal of 163. DOABLE!
4:55 am.  I’m tired. Vewy, vewy tired. My endorphins are taking a dive.
Time to do something perfectly normal.
Zzzzzzzzzzz
    
R Michael Owens, of Colorado, is enjoying his extended stay in beautiful, downtown Kansas.