THE BLADE INVESTIGATIVE TEAM

After more than a year in exile, the Blade Investigative Team had been called back into action.

While trying to solve the one remaining riddle from the 60-year old 'Goat On The Roof' mystery, the team was suddenly summoned back to the Blade-Empire newspaper and given a new mission: find out what the Spinny Thing is.
Armed with a bunch of promising leads and a credit card they stole from Managing Editor Jim Lowell, the team set to the task. They first needed to assume the appropriate persona.
For the 'Goat On The Roof' story, the team tried to mimic the methods used by investigative reporters Woodward and Bernstein in 'All The President's Men'.
But the Spinny Thing job was different. This mystery had solid leads; it had photographs and videos and witnesses who were probably hiding the truth. Somebody knew something. A detective was needed, and who better to emulate than the greatest detective of all time: Sherlock Holmes!
To research their role, the investigative team went to the Frank Carlson Library. They quickly located 'The Complete Sherlock Holmes' by Knickerbocker Classics and carried the tomes to the front desk. Here they encountered their first problem.
They couldn't check out the books, because they still hadn't returned 'All The President's Men' from a year ago.
The past-due fine: $173
The team handed over Jim Lowell's credit card to pay the fine, and also added $100 donation to the library's Summer Reading Program because the ladies behind the desk were so nice.
The team departed the library with nine volumes of Sherlock Holmes cases in hand, and went to their apartment to begin their research.
Here they encountered their second problem: there were a lot of pages to read. Research meant reading and reading was like studying, and the investigative team wasn't known for its study skills.
However, the books were filled with lots of illustrations of Holmes and his trusty sidekick Watson. The team realized that to impersonate the famous detective they would first have to look the part, so they fired up their laptop computer and logged on to Amazon.com.
Sherlock Holmes always wore an Inverness cape in a houndstooth pattern, smoked a clay Briar pipe, and was never seen without his signature Deerstalker cap.
The team found the items online, paid the extra fee for expedited shipping, and entered Lowell's credit card information.
The cost: $1,238.
The team hit the 'Buy Now' button and held their breath. They had no idea what the limit was on Lowell's card, or if he had reported it stolen yet.
The purchase was approved! The clothing would arrive in two days.
Feeling lucky, the team also bought a 78" big-screen HD television and a year's subscription to Architectural Digest. The team had no interest in architecture, but the magazines would look cool on the coffee table in their apartment. If someone - probably the police - ever came by for a visit, the magazines would suggest that the team had a higher IQ than they really did.
Now the team needed a pseudonym. They couldn't call themselves Sherlock Holmes, or Mobile Holmes, or even Better Holmes & Gardens. They needed a name that would strike fear in the heart of any criminal or malfeasant they might encounter during the investigation.
After much thought and deliberation (Dixie Winter actually came up with idea), the team settled on... Inspector B.E.
Get it? (Hint: Blade-Empire).
Sherlock Holmes had an assistant almost as famous as himself: Watson. So Inspector B. E. would also need an assistant.
The investigative team phoned all their friends to see if they wanted to sign on.
Both people hung up on them.
The team settled on Bella Lugosi.
Not the dead guy.
Bella Lugosi is a cat that lives at the Blade-Empire. The cat arrived at the office one day, and for some strange reason it's still there.
The cat was originally named Bella, until its previous owner finally checked under the hood and realized it was a male cat.  So Bella became Bella Lugosi.
The cat has now claimed the Blade office as its own, and has the annoying habit of climbing over desks - especially at night - and knocking things over and spilling leftover coffee. Russell Gagnon seems particularly annoyed with the cat's presence, and keeps encouraging it to go play in the middle of Highway 81.
The investigative team felt energized by their accomplishments thus far. They had assumed an identity - Inspector B.E., modeled after the great Sherlock Holmes; they had purchased the appropriate wardrobe to wear as a pseudo-detective; and they had now enlisted the services of a trusted sidekick: Bella Lugosi.
It was time to actually do some detective-ing. (Pretty sure that's a made-up word, but this whole story is made-up, so it fits.)
The team started with the facts of the case as known.
Fact #1: the first reported sighting of the mysterious Spinny Thing was three weeks ago in the front yard of Galen and Mary LaBarge's house. The LaBarges were leaving for work one morning, saw it, took a photo, came back at lunchtime and... the strange orb was gone.
Two days later, Gerald and Marcia Sorell returned from a vacation trip and found Spinny Thing relaxing next to their koi pond. They went in the house and grabbed their video camera, came back outside... it was gone.
The Blade then began to receive photographs of Spinny Thing appearing all over town: on the golf course, fishing off the U.P. Bridge, and posing proudly in a remote rural location labeled "Dano's Future Mansion". Spinny Thing even went to a K-State game (allegedly drinking alcohol at a tailgate party), and had the audacity to stand on the roof of the Co-op Elevator where the goat had once stood 60 years ago!
Mayor Sam Sacco seemed particularly interested in Spinny Thing's travels, and made comments on the Blade's Facebook page. Spinny Thing apparently went to City Hall to visit the Mayor, but he wasn't in.
Fact #2: Spinny Thing is somehow able to move freely about town, yet no one has ever actually seen it travel. Several Blade readers suggested that Spinny Thing is actually some sort of alien probe put on Earth to observe human behavior.
Other readers claim that Spinny Thing is a piece of art; others call it a piece of something, but not art; still others say it's a yard ornament.
Dan Haist swears Spinny Thing is a family heirloom swiped from his parents' front yard, and is threatening to call the KBI unless it's returned.
The investigative team realized they first needed to determine exactly what Spinny Thing is. And who better to ask than Dr. Todd Leif, the Dean of Science, Mathematics, and Technical Programs at Cloud County Community College.
The team sent Inspector B.E. to interview him.
Dr. Todd is a bright fellow with a mirthful twinkle in his eye. He welcomed Inspector B.E. into his office, and they got right down to business.
Inspector B.E. showed Dr. Todd a photograph the LaBarges had taken of Spinny Thing in their front yard.
"What the heck is this thing, Dr. Todd?" the Inspector asked.
Dr. Todd studied the photo for a long moment.
"Well, it's hard to tell exactly," he finally said. "It appears to be made of some sort of metal, or perhaps material foreign to Earth. I can say for certain that it is similar in design to the Trident of Poseidon."
Inspector B.E. nodded his head as if he understood, but in fact he had no idea what the heck Dr. Todd was talking about.
"The Trident is a magical weapon that grants the wielder great power," Dr. Todd explained. "Its presence here on Earth could be causing a quantum entanglement from an alternate realm."
That sounded cool. And kinda dangerous. But what did it mean?
"Think of it this way," Dr. Todd said. "Spinny Thing could be a phenomenon similar to crop circles. It could be a precursor of events to come, like opening the door to an alien visitation."
"How is it able to move around without being seen, Dr. Todd?"
"It might be controlled by an alien in a spaceship built with a type of stealth technology we're not yet able to discern," Dr. Todd postulated. "Or it could be holographic. What humans see is not real, so Spinny Thing is able to disappear from human perception wherever it wants."
Inspector B.E. noticed that during the entire interview Dr. Todd was trying very hard not to laugh. This worried the Inspector.
"Be honest, Dr. Todd. Is this thing dangerous?"
"Hard to say. It poses a threat if it's emitting a high-volume of electromagnetic radiation, but I see no sign of that in the photographs. The LaBarges' house, the Sorells' house, the golf course - all of those places would be evidencing some sort of radiation damage."
Inspector B.E. jotted a few notes then said, "One final question: if this thing is some sort of UFO probe, what is it doing here in Concordia, of all places?"
"The Trident of Neptune controls the power of the sea," Dr. Todd said. "A sea is water. Rain is water. Concordia was in a drought, and farmers had been praying for rain. It's interesting to note that, ever since Spinny Thing showed up in Concordia, we've been getting all the rain we need."
Since Dr. Todd has a doctorate, which means he's smart, Inspector B.E. tried to think of a big smart word to respond with.
"That all sounds kinda neat-o, Dr. Todd," Inspector B.E. said. "Thanks for your time."
Inspector B.E. left the office, then remembered another question he wanted to ask and ducked his head through the door.
Dr. Todd was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes.
Inspector B.E. took that as a sign that they were on the right track.
As Inspector B.E. was walking to his car in Parking Lot #2, his cell phone rang. He felt a feeling of dread wash over him before he even pulled the phone out of his pocket.
He checked the Caller ID. It was Jim Lowell. Had Lowell finally realized his credit card was missing? Did the credit card company send him a fraud alert? Were the police now involved?
Inspector B.E. took a deep breath and raised the phone to his ear.
"Inspector B.E.," Inspector B.E. said.
"Oh, sorry," Lowell said. "I dialed the wrong number."
"No, Jim, it's us. The Blade Investigative Team."
"Oh. Who's Inspector B.E.?"
"That's us too."
There was a slight pause, and though they were 2.7 miles apart, Inspector B.E. could FEEL Lowell rolling his eyes.
"You do realize that makes absolutely no sense," Lowell finally said.
"That's the whole point, boss. It keeps our adversaries confused."
"They're not the only ones confused. Look: check out the Blade Facebook page. Spinny Thing struck again... right in front of our office."
"What?!"
"Got to our Facebook page. Spinny Thing left a message for you. Apparently he doesn't think much of your abilities."
Inspector B.E. raced home, opened his computer and logged on to the Blade Facebook page.
And there it was. Stark. Defiant. Taunting.
Spinny Thing was posed in front of the Blade-Empire holding a newspaper that described the Blade Investigative Team's effort to track him down.
Beneath the paper Spinny Thing had left a note:

THE BLADE INVESTIGATIVE TEAM?
HAH!!!
Catch Me If You Can!

Inspector B.E. felt his face turn red. How dare this alien probe/piece of art/lawn ornament disparage the vaunted Blade Investigative Team!
'Catch Me If You Can!'?
Very well, Spinny Thing, Inspector B.E. thought to himself. You threw down the gauntlet. Consider the challenge met.
Your days of freedom in Concordia are numbered!

NEXT WEEK: Part 3 - The Net Tightens Around Spinny Thing.
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