Twins share their unique experiences

Editor's Note: This is Part One of a two-part series.

Twins.

We've all seen them. Identical twins are the most striking. Fraternal twins, usually a boy and a girl, can look similar but be as different as night and day.

Twins develop when one zygote – a fertilized egg – splits into two parts, forming identical twins. Or, when two eggs are released and fertilized separately, the result is fraternal twins who share about half their DNA with each other.

So, what is it like to be a twin? How does someone spend their entire life with another human being who is, in many ways, a duplicate?

TIM and TOM BOMBARDIER

Tim and Tom Bombardier are identical twins who were born on February 12, 1953, and grew up in Jamestown. “They didn't have sonograms back then,” said Tim, who is older than Tom by one minute. “My mom already had a 4-year-old and an 18-month-old. She said that when I was born the doctor told her: 'Well, I've got good news. You have another son.' Mom thought he was talking about my older brother. When he told her there was a twin, she said: 'No, put him back in!'”

It was difficult to tell the Bombardiers apart at an early age. “You get used to people calling you the wrong name, even in a small town like Jamestown,” said Tim. “A lot of people just called me Tim-Tom. My mother always knew, but dad never could tell us apart. He just called both of us 'twin'.”

“After we got married,” added Tom, “Dad could tell by our wives. When we came to visit, he'd see which wife we were with and then he knew which name to call us.”

Tim's earliest memory of being a twin was in first grade, and being in the Cub Scouts together. Tom remembers them playing together with toys, and attending kindergarten.

“We were inseparable; we were always together,” said Tim. “I always had somebody to talk to and do things with, like play catch.”

“We were always together because we had the same interests,” said Tom. “It was an advantage to be a twin. You always had somebody to play with.”

Did they ever bicker and get mad at each other? “Our mother said we used to fight when we were young,” said Tim, “but I don't remember that. It seems like we've always got along.”

In Third Grade, their mother began dressing them differently. Distinctive personality traits began to emerge. “Tom is quiet,” said Tim. “I'm more outgoing.”

Tom disagreed, somewhat. “Maybe when we were younger,” he said, and then added with a laugh: “Now we're just old and probably both quieter.”

“What's interesting is that people sometimes take you as one unit – like one person,” said Tim. “We're different. We really are our own person.”

How did their other brothers and sisters adapt to growing up with twins? Tim chuckled and said, “I think they got tired of answering questions about us. People see you as kind of a novelty. For my brothers and sisters, it was always: 'How's the twins?' They probably got tired of hearing about the twins.”

In school, in Jamestown, the Bombardiers once dated sisters, and one time they tried switching places. “That didn't work out,” said Tim. “They knew right away.”

Tom agreed. “They were on to us. But we never really played the twin card very much.”

There are innumerable reports of the unique bond between twins, possibly even on a psychic level. One twin automatically knows when the other is ill or in trouble. “No, we never really had anything like that,” Tim said. “When Tom was asked a question, I knew what he was going to say before he said it, but that's about it.”

“We were always finishing each other's sentences,” added Tom. “I kind of always knew what he was thinking.”

After the twins graduated from Jamestown High School, they attended Cloud County Community College for two years. And then... the momentous decision.

“We made a conscious decision to separate,” Tom said. “It was just time. We were both K-State fans, but I wanted to be a teacher, so I chose to go to Emporia State.”

“When he left for Emporia, that was the worst day of my life,” said Tim. “We'd been inseparable for 20 years. It was like I'd lost my best friend.”

“It was weird for awhile,” Tom said. “But then you adjust. That was the whole idea. And I still remember, after about a week at Emporia State, I was out somewhere and someone called me 'Tom'. They got my name right because Tim wasn't there. That's when it really hit me.”

Tim still lives in Concordia with his wife, Marsha. He worked at Boogaarts for 18 years, and then F&A Food Sales, Inc. for 23 years. Once he retired, he began working part-time for the school district.

Tom, also retired, now lives in Oklahoma City with his wife Martha. Martha and Marsha are sisters.

“Yes, we married sisters,” said Tom. “Tim was dating Marsha. I was living in Beatrice, Nebraska, at the time, and I came back to visit. We went on a double date.”

Even now, at 68-years of age, the Bombardier twins stay in close contact. “We call each other at least once a week,” Tom said.

Does a twin ever wonder what life might have been like NOT being a twin? “No, never,” Tim replied. “I've been very fortunate to be a twin.”

“I never for a minute wondered what it would be like to not be a twin,” said Tom. “There's just so many positives to it.”

STEPHANIE (GALLAGHER) ANDERSON and BRANDI (GALLAGHER) CHANDLER

“There's a lot of jokes that fly around the family about who's the favorite child,” said Stephanie (Gallagher) Anderson. She then flashed a sparkling smile and added, “For the record, I'm the favorite.”

“That's funny,” said her twin sister Brandi (Gallagher) Chandler. “If you had talked to me first, I would have told you the same thing!”

The Gallagher twins were born on October 27, 1985. Stephanie is older by about one minute. Her first memory of being unique – of having a twin sister – came early in school. “People saw us and asked what it's like to be a twin. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know any different. She's just my sister.”

“For us, it was just normal,” said Brandi. “It was always a package deal - “Oh, you're one of the Gallagher girls”. I remember hearing that a lot.”

The sisters are very close – they either talk or text one another almost every day. But early in their lives, like most normal siblings, they didn't always get along. “We've always had a lot in common,” Stephanie said. “School, sports, movies and things like that. We always shared clothes. I remember little spats about things like who wore the other's shirt without asking.”

“Oh, yes, we bickered,” said Brandi. “And, being a twin, you knew exactly which buttons to push. I remember when we were like nine or 10 years old, and we told our dad we didn't want to be twins anymore. He just kind of rolled his eyes and said, “Well, I'm sorry, honey, but there's nothing I can do about that.”

Were their parents always able to tell them apart? “I think for the most part our parents could always tell the difference,” Stephanie said. “Maybe not so much from a distance, or when our backs were turned.”

“I think they did a really good job,” agreed Brandi. “You did get used to being called by both names. They told me I was named Brandi because 'B' stood for the bigger child. 'S' in Stephanie was for the smaller girl.”

For centuries, scientists – and inquisitive minds of all walks of life – have studied the unique bond between twins, even on a psychic level. “No, there was never anything really psychic between us,” Brandi said. “But I think there's definitely a special connection between twins. We just know things about each other. I feel that there were moments when you just sensed something about the other one on a deeper level.”

“We understand each other better than anyone else,” said Stephanie. “We share certain emotions and things like our sense of humor that even our husbands don't get. We always joke with each other: 'God forbid something should happen to you, because nobody else would understand me'.”

Did the girls ever play the 'twin card', and switch places? “No, not really,” Brandi said. “I remember when I first started dating my now-husband, I once tried to pass myself off as Stephanie. But he knew right away. Sometimes you would do it for a brief encounter, or a short conversation. Like at college, I'd be walking across the campus and somebody would wave and say “Hi, Stephanie!” and I would just wave back. In quick moments you wouldn't correct them.”

“Twins don't always go together,” said Stephanie. “People always thought we were a package deal. Like they couldn't invite one somewhere without inviting the other. Or that we had to always achieve something together. Brandi was Homecoming Queen at CHS, and I was so proud of her. But my mom was worried that it would create some kind of rift between us. It's not like that at all. Even to this day my mom takes a lot of care to make sure we're treated equal.”

The Gallagher twins graduated from Concordia High School in 2004, and then they both went to Ft. Hays State University. They roomed together in the dorms their first year. “We had the same major, basically the same schedule and same classes,” said Stephanie.

“That dorm room was a small space,” Brandi said. “With the same classes and schedule, we were always together and kind of got on each other's nerves.”

For their second year at Ft. Hays, the twins decided to live separately. “It really was a conscious decision,” said Brandi. “It was just time. We were taking different paths.”

“We were becoming more and more our own person.” Stephanie said. “I was always a small-town girl. Brandi was into the big city stuff. I take after dad's side of the family. Brandi's more like my mom. Dad jokes that I'm more Irish – hot-tempered. Other than Brandi, I had one close friend in school. Brandi had a whole circle of friends.”

Though living separately, they were still in the same city and saw each other all the time. The first real parting of the twins happened when Stephanie left Hays. “I finished college early and moved back to Concordia,” Stephanie said. “Brandi was still in Hays. It really hit me on our 22nd birthday. It was the first birthday we ever spent apart.”

“Even when we weren't living together, we were still near each other, in the same city,” Brandi said. “When Stephanie moved back to Concordia, that really changed things.”

The twins are now married and raising families of their own. Stephanie lives in Concordia and is the Advisement Office manager at Cloud County Community College. She is a mother to two children, ages nine and seven, and stepmother to two teenagers, ages 17 and 15. Brandi lives in Derby, where she is the Executive Assistant to the Vice President of Engineering for Airbus. She has three children, ages eight, five, and three.

“When I was getting married, I was living in Tulsa,” Brandi recalled. “My wedding dress was being fitted in Belleville. I couldn't make it there, so my mom and Stephanie went. They just fitted my dress to Stephanie. Then when Stephanie got married, she wore the same dress. She changed it; added things. She's very resourceful.”

Their own children sometimes have trouble telling the sisters apart. “We get that a lot,” Stephanie said.

“If their not paying attention,” said Brandi, “her kids will call me mom, and my kids will call Stephanie mom. When I would bring my kids to my parents' house, and Stephanie would come over, my dad would say: “Oh, here's 'fake mom'.”

When their children were little, the sisters would stand together in front of them, just to see their reaction. “It was really funny,” said Stephanie. “Their heads would just go back and forth. It was like people watching a tennis match.”

Did Stephanie and Brandi expect – hope – that they would have twins of their own? “They say it skips a generation,” Stephanie said, “so I didn't really expect it. But I would have been thrilled!”

“My situation would have been a little different,” Brandi said, “because my husband's grandmother is a triplet. We were thinking that we might end up with a litter of children. It was a fun thought.”

Though living separate lives in different cities, the twins still have that special connection. “I can't tell you how many times, even today, we show up somewhere and we're wearing the same clothes,” Brandi said. “I feel that as we get older we've grown closer.”

“Being a twin is just amazing,” said Stephanie. “I'm so lucky to have her in my life.”

IN FRIDAY'S NEWSPAPER: More twins!