"Running Commentary"
Raising A Little Cain
Wise King Solomon admonished parents, “Train a child up in the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Solomon may have been wise, but I doubt he ever changed a dirty diaper. It doesn’t take long for new parents to learn all about basic plumbing and leaky pipes.
Nobody could accuse Solomon of raising a traditional family. He took wives from virtually every surrounding family and tribe, acquiring a harem of 700 wives and princesses. That’s a foreign policy many politicians in Washington would admire. The negotiated deals included 300 concubines and a first-round draft choice to be named later.
Must have been one hellova king-sized bed.
700 wives? Can you imagine the length of the line – the agony of waiting to use the bathroom first thing in the morning? BANG! BANG! “Come ON! Hurry UP!! I’m dying out here!”
If alive today, Solomon would have likely put things differently: “Suffer the little children to grow up watching Sesame Street in another part of the tent and pray that when the kids are older they never do time in prison.”
Be advised – there no job on the planet more difficult, vexing, more complicated, frustrating, overwhelming – and yes, wonderful and rewarding – than raising children.
Negotiating world peace seems like a snap compared to the difficult decisions every parent faces daily raising a child. Whether your chosen field is nuclear physics or brain surgery, if you haven’t put a Band-Aid on the bleeding finger of a nervous, teary-eyed three year-old, you’ve got nothing on a parent.
And a simple little kiss makes it “aww betta!”
Parents are many things … love givers; nurturers; educators; soothing comforters; bankers and loan officers; gardeners of strength and courage; legislators; peace negotiators; disciplinarians; religious teachers; nurses; homework editors; entertainers; taxi drivers; employers; body huggers; time management experts; miracle workers; alarm clocks; dieticians; storytellers; and bathroom janitors.
That’s just a partial list. The list is as unlimited as the infinite complexities of each child. Job titles change as quickly as a child’s mood swings. Or when behavior changes from good to not-so-good.
A parent must have the strength of Superman and dexterity of Spiderman. Fathers past their prime must be able to beat up every other father on the block. Mothers should resemble Carrie Underwood, even when they have more in common with Melissa McCarthy.
Genetic scientists tell us that children having the same biological parents will have similarities in gene structure. Common sense suggests something different – children born to the same parents are usually as different as apples and eggplants.
Funny thing, when you’re contemplating having a second child, you evaluate possibilities based on experiences with the first. WRONG!! Soon enough, parents realize how presumptuous they were.
The first child was bald; the second has more hair than the family dog. The first was quiet and peaceful; the second behaves as if he were fathered by an android from a distant black hole. One child looks like a young Brad Pitt; another resembles a wrinkled pit – a real Georgia peach.
Parents promise themselves they won’t make the same mistakes their own parents made raising THEM. They Intend to do things differently with THEIR kids. But parents must suppress a chuckle when they hear themselves repeating the same admonitions their own parents told THEM when they were little.
The old cliché is true – what goes around, comes around – generation after generation. You know what they say about the fruit that falls from the family tree? It often falls too close for comfort.
In similar fashion, it’s difficult for a parent not to laugh when they admonish a child about behavior that they themselves STILL haven’t gotten right as adults. How can a parent help but smile, trying to teach their children not to procrastinate doing house chores when they realize they themselves tend to procrastinate doing, well – just about everything. (Sssshh! It will be our little secret.)
An epiphany occurs when children are old enough to realize that their parents are less than perfect. Parents start out as Angelina Jolie and Tom Hanks, but around the age of adolescence those same parents seem more like villainous Klingons, against whom the children are obligated to do battle. Rebelliousness and a desire for independence are rooted in a child’s DNA.
Another promise parents make to themselves is to treat each child equally. This proves difficult when children do not behave equally. Parents begin with good intentions, but one look at the family album discloses that there are 372 baby photos of the first child, 78 of the second, and only six or seven of the third. I speak with authority on that subject – just ask my youngest child Sara.
The good news is that the latter children get the benefit of reverse discipline. Parents are tough on the first child … but that baby of the family? Anything short of a felony offense is perfectly acceptable. Just ask my two older kids – Sara got away with MURDER.
No matter what the age of children, no matter how independent and efficient they are, parents never cease worrying about them. And on that point, my Mother just called.
Wanted to know if I paid my car insurance.
Note: On Sunday, December 27, I’ll be playing live piano at JITTERS for their Sunday brunch. Support our great little coffee house – stop by and say hello! Contact info: Rmykl@yahoo.com